"The World Won't Be Aging Gracefully. Just the Opposite."

Do you think the world will end in 2012? Were the Mayans correct? Will there be a catastrophic event that obliterates the human race? The answer, according to this article, is most likely...no. It is true that the world is under strain though. The end of the world probably won't be due to falling astroids or a toxic nuclear bomb (even though that seems quite possible).

Demographics will be the demise of the human race. But don't worry, the United States is better off than Japan or Italy; we have a replacement level of 2.1 children per couple. And soon, we will be the only english speaking democracy in the top 12 most populous nations meaning that our role in the global society will continue to grow and strain our crippled economic system. Don't worry! The end of the world is not as near as we think. We'll still be able to consume our hot dogs and apple pie and grow obese yelling at the TV watching Monday Night Football.

Progeria

This disease causes rapid aging beginning in early childhood. I understand the best part of parenting is watching your baby's first step, and hearing the first words. Could you imagine watching your child go through the aging process before you experience it yourself?

I'm ugly. Is it my fault?

"Now everything smells.
The piss in the pot beside my bed,
my powdered feet that I can't reach,
my metal chair. The woman who used it last
died and left her smell."

It's hard to understand the view from the hospice bed. Can we say that we've been given less than six months to live? Can we feel the humiliation of being completely dependent on others for care? Can we understand the feeling of being trapped by diagnosis, trapped by strangers, trapped by a body that just... dies?

In an anthology of poems about old women titled Only Morning in Her Shoes, I found Susan Fantl Spivack's poem, "I'm ugly. Is it my fault?" This poem shares the mind of an old woman who is in hospice care. She details an existence where a soul snarls against unchangeable circumstances.

At some point in our lives, we all think about our mortality. We fantasize about heroic deaths, cringe at horror movie endings, imagine what the world might be without us.

I find that this poem focuses attention on something we only imagine and usually shudder to think about. There are reasons why many people are leery of hospices. It brings us too close to our own mortality, the possibility that we too could one day be trapped by the same metal railings, doomed to die in a place were strangers with strange and terminal illnesses are recycled through as the bedsheets change. Hospices are nothing like our greatest fantasies and most horrible horror movies. This poem gives voice to the grit, the truth of an old woman in a place where dreams and nightmares have often perished in reality.

Slate's Geezer Issue One Year Later: Pimp My Buick!

As the years keep increasing, the numbers of Americans aged 65 and older will also keep increasing. That means there will be a lot more older people driving. Many people may think that older drivers are the safest drivers because they believe older people are wiser. However, the aging process slows physical and mental abilities which could easily put one's life at risk. As people age, their keen eyesight and concentration levels begin to decline tremendously. My grandmother would cling viciously to her steering wheel. Even though she had lost her eyesight, she would profess herself to be capable of driving herself to the grocery store even though she couldn't recognize people right in front of her. The last time I rode with her I was terrified.

In this article, Farhad Manjoo describes they way technology has found a way to make sure that older people are safer on the road. Manjoo gives statistics and shares a couple of accidents to try to capture readers attention and reveal the dangers of keeping old people behind the wheels.

Agreeing with Manjoo, I think having the 2009 Lincoln MKS is a great car for the elderly.

Slate's Geezer Issue One Year Later: Geezers Need Excitement

I can’t begin to fathom the exuberant amount of wise cracks about older people and the internet that are currently in circulation. It’s rather common to hear someone say, “My grandpa types five words per minute,” or, “Nana, do I have to show you how to send an email again?” The truth of the matter is that the majority of seniors view the internet as another noisome invention by young whippersnappers today that isn’t worth the trouble of learning how to navigate. Michael Agger noted in his article “Geezers Need Excitement” that only 35 percent of seniors actually know how to fully operate and use the internet mainly to check their emails, to stay updated with family, or for work-related reasons. Whatever the case may be, the old people who do know how to navigate through the internet’s magical maze actually enjoy the web and find nifty little doohickeys of sites to explore. Is it weird that Papa Joe has a facebook or Grandma Nancy just posted a YouTube video? I don’t think so because seniors are allowed to express their personality and individuality through the internet just like everyone else. I know this may seem like a basic concept but SENIORS ARE PEOPLE TOO.

Mid-Life Crisis: Fact or Fiction?

I've been interested in the question of whether the mid-life crisis is an excuse for poor behavior for quite some time. When my dad began throwing annual Rolling Stones parties and bought a cheap convertible, my mom attributed it to his 50th birthday, whereas I believed these acts were just an excuse to act like he was 25 again. Richard A. Friedman, the author of this article, takes the latter approach as he challenges the idea of the mid-life crisis with his title statement "Crisis? Maybe He's a Narcissistic Jerk." With heavy sarcasm and wry humor, Friedman dismisses the idea of the mid-life crisis and boils it down to an excuse for male boredom. While my beliefs on the mid-life crisis may not be as harsh as Friedman's, the article made me wonder if there is some validity in the idea of the mid-life crisis. Do we deserve to meltdown in the face of aging or are we expected to age gracefully? What about American culture promotes the idea that dating younger women/men or buying a fancy car will solve our middle age mental breakdowns?

Smells Like Middle-Aged Spirit: High School Reunion

While perusing the internet for articles featuring age and aging, I was immediately attracted to this article's subject matter: the high school reunion. My interest likely stemmed from personal experience, as just a few weeks before I departed for Stanford, I wandered into my living room one morning to discover my stepmom and dad engaged in rapt discussion about the events that had transpired the night before at her 20th high school reunion. The previous night's proceedings provided enough conversation plot points to occupy the two for hours, as they discussed the job changes, weigh gains, divorces, plastic surgeries, and midlife crises that have filled the lives of my stepmother's former classmates. It's always fascinated me that that high school reunion, more than any other milestone unifying event, has become such an entrenched part of American culture. Since high school is often considered the awkward and torturous purgatory all adolescents must trudge through before ascending to collegiate paradise, why is there so much hype about the high school reunion?

The author's personal essay about his own 20th high school reunion offers a glimpse into the annual experience shared by middle-aged pilgrims. While he admits to experiencing some of the cliche emotional moments depicted in Hollywood films -- discovering that the class hottie really felt insecure and alone all along -- the author also expresses a confusion with the whole ordeal. His statement, "The night resists the taking of its pulse; there's just no way to get an accurate reading," suggests the ambivalence of his emotions. With each paragraph, his tone wavers between cynicism and sentimentality, likely mirroring his moods throughout the night. Ultimately, the essay's departing words of wisdom seem to be that it is impossible to recreate the past, and that any night spent wallowing in nostalgia can do little to deny time's continual progression.

Geezer Issue One Year Later: Oh, the Wrinkles You'll Get!

Oh! The places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored! There are wrinkles to be won!

Wrinkles. A craggy nemesis completely noticed. In the now-vogue rush to capture eternal youth, where do wrinkles stand today? Should we taut them for professional appeal? Inject them into oblivion for celebrity status? Should we keep them for distinction? Deepen them with our various lifestyles?

Wrinkles, Amanda Fortini says, are something people now have a choice to keep or erase. And to me, there is nothing more exciting than the freedom of choice! Not only do I have options to choose when I physically age, but I can choose how I age and what I age into. My gender, skin color, and, FINALLY! facial features are mine to control! But what, then, does that do to the idea of aging?

When the physical process of aging can be changed, age becomes a sort of taboo. Do you ask him if he has ID for that alcohol? Are those his children or his grandchildren? Is she really 55 or is she lying to get the senior discount price? With the option to change your physical age, it becomes so much harder to trust things at face value. Here it is, case in point, that nothing may be as it seems.

People aren't transparent enough as it is. These cosmetic procedures make interaction even less sure. Wrinkles are something won from a lifestyle, and this vogue concept of eternal youth makes it harder to find out who a person really is. Personalities are usually mapped out on the face! I think that the choice of aging is a depersonalizing one.

Slate's Geezer Issue One Year Later: The Senior-Citizen Cookbook

This article discuses a topic that people of all ages can relate to: food. So, how does eating change for "old people"? The author says the elderly "may eat less." Also, they "may eat more!" This all depends on how one has been living their life. Those who have "gotten good at snacking" will most probably not lose this "talent" of theirs, as the author puts it. This just goes to show how some things remain timeless despite age.

The author explores the subject in such a way that makes it light yet informative. The text warns readers of the importance of getting enough nutrients while poking fun at "nutri-lingo," for example. It cautions of a weakening in one’s sense of smell that will take place, which affects the ability to distinguish flavors, which apparently inevitably leads to “nibbling at different foods […] perpetually unable to get the emotional satisfaction that you once did from any particular meal.” This poses several dangers to the elderly, such as the threat of obesity-related disorders resulting from malnutrition. What’s more, the subtle use of statistics to illustrate the presence of hypertension in the elderly also serves as forewarning for the aging.

It was interesting how the author drew a line between the young and the old. The young chefs are said to “add and add and add” while it is the old that “take and take and take.” This adds to the cautionary tone of the piece and makes readers more conscious of what they eat as they age – which may be both a bad and good thing.

Slate's Geezer Issue One Year Later: Full Metal Socket- How Seniors Become Cyborgs

"The baby boom has aged into a bionics boom," writes the author of this article, which describes the rapid growth of the artificial body industry and questions the moral dilemmas that have arisen as a result of the new technology that is now available to senior citizens.

While the author does list numerous dry statistics in order to illustrate the burgeoning size of this industry, he keeps the article fresh and relatable by peppering his writing with pop-culture references. For example, he draws us into the article by claiming that Arnold Schwarzenegger has actually turned into a terminator in his old age because his hip and heart valve replacements, as well as the bevy of metal holding together his femur, render him part machine. The author again brings back the Terminator reference as he ponders the ethics of turning off the artificial machines that give life, asking "who has the right to terminate a terminator?" These myriad pop-culture references help breathe life into the dull and somewhat depressing topic of bodily aging, making the subject matter more accessible for those not in the 65 and over age bracket.

I also thought the many interesting ethical questions he posed, such as whether we can afford to have Medicare continue to pay for these expensive procedures, revealed the darker side of what we often gloss over as new miracle technology.

My Little Comma

Flipping through the pages of “Twentysomething Essays by Twentysomething Writers” led me through a swarm of issues that "twentysomethings" face. One word. Numerous.

Intrigued by the idea of a life crisis, I stopped at one story in particular by Elrena Evans called "My Little Comma." In the narrative, Evans describes the challenge of balancing family time with career aspirations. She has rigorous personal and professional goals, and her gender adds a whole new dimension to the dilemma of fitting all desires into the short time period we call "life." Through her twisted and repetitive references to the monotony of caring for a young baby, it becomes apparent that Evans has a pit in her stomach: she can't take back the child she already has, whom she loves very much.

I believe this child causes the onset of a life-crisis.

Although Evans never explicitly states her emotional panic, I think she is entrenched in it. She contradicts herself often by expressing her utmost desire to get a degree and maintain a professional life while also wanting "to leave the university" (210). She is self-conscious of others' perceptions of her, asking her audience, "Could I go to a cocktail party, hold my head up high, and introduce myself as a stay-at-home mom?" She wearily validates her authority as a mother by asking "I make milk; what's your superpower?" (206)

How do women balance the their individual aspirations with the needs of their family? What happens when priorities are suddenly forced to change? What will it take for women and men to work together to re-write the social norms that determine our life-story before we even live it? I feel as though women, trapped by society's expectations, hide some of their true hopes and dreams, and I plan on exploring the panic this particular age group experiences as a result.

Slate's Geezer Issue One Year Later: Naughty Nursing Homes: Is it time to let the elderly have more sex?

Sure, the elderly have rights too. (NOT!) With the plethora of diseases out there corrupting the older generation’s minds, it’s a mystery why we still don’t just isolate everyone above seventy in jail cells – the nursing homes themselves might as well be prisons. That way, at least we could make sure we tame their vivacious sex drives.

Engber tastefully describes in "Naughty Nursing Homes" a typical nursing home bedroom as containing “narrow mattresses with very little privacy” in which “nurses enter […] without knocking.” And he couldn’t be more on target. Nursing home residents should be treated as prisoners simply because it’s essential that we keep an eye out for inappropriate, intimate relations between them. Right?

Where do we draw the sticky line when it comes to this type of behavior? How do we really know that the aging are fully alert and aware of the decisions they make? The sex dilemma in nursing homes is one that society hasn’t resolved quite yet. With the massive litigation war going on out there, nursing home staff are justly “queasy about sexual expression” because “they’re afraid of getting sued.” So now may prove the opportune time to change our policies and our minds about what we deem as appropriate behavior for the elderly…

I’m not quite certain when it became the norm to stereotype and categorize all elderly people, but Engel makes an interesting stab at underlining the lack of power elderly are bound to feel when confined to the boundaries of a nursing home. Maybe it is time to reevaluate the prospects we face as we grow older. I’m interested in how our current system of caring for the elderly could truly be improved to give our aging population a greater sense of accomplishment, self-worth, and happiness throughout their final years.

The Kidult Pandemic

As I was meandering through the mamou nooks and crannies of the cyber world with Google as my guide, I stumbled across an article entitled “Addicted to Adultescence” that caught my eye. To debrief you on its content, the article engages in an in-depth discussion about the growing epidemic of “kidults”--mainly between the ages of 18 to 29-years-old--in the USA. Chronicling the life of Matt Swann, authors Alex and Brett Harris expound upon his carefree lifestyle void of responsibility, financial stability, future goals, etc. You get the picture right? Matt is a prime example of a modern day adult going through what’s been coined as adultescence--“extended adolescence.” It’s as if he is perusing through the ostentatious magazines in the library of life’s forefront, with no intention of fully entering through its bewitching, mahogany doors, and divulging in the many volumes of knowledge and experience and wisdom it has to offer.

I’m not quite sure when being a 29-year-old still fully dependent on and residing with mommy and daddy became a notion to be proud of. Let’s face it, an Xbox 360, flat screen television, and jammies with the crease ironed down the middle just how you like it courtesy of mother is not an ideal scene in a bachelor’s pad. As a society we need to step up and inform these adultescents afflicted with this Peter Pan syndrome of their lifestyle’s deleterious nature. Not only does it burden their family members with the unwanted responsibility of caring for them long after they are fully capable of up keeping themselves, but it also robs them of adult experiences such as stable, meaningful relationships and how to hold a steady, dignified occupation.

Although some of us do agree with Dorothy's expression, “There’s no place like home,” there comes a time when we all need to spread our fairly new wings, depart from the nest, and clumsily venture out into the world to discover all it has to offer. The psychologist Jeffrey Arnett notes, “society has finally evolved to the point where pursuing the pleasures of irresponsibility is practical into your late 20s and beyond!” If what we have to look forward to is a society of kidults slouching around viewing lawns, parenthood, mortgages, retirement plans, or anything associated with maturing and adulthood as defunct, then we are in a world full of trouble in the decades to come.

Make Money or Kill Granny?

The heated health-care debate has consumed much of the past months' news for valid reason; it is a complicated mess involving fiscal, economic, and ethical issues. Evan Thomas presents a bold, risky point of view about end-of-life care using his personal experience of his grandmother's passing to expose the complex issues of health care in America. The dilemma that Thomas examines is whether the patients, who are going to die in the near future, should have the right to decide their medical course, or allow doctors to continue conducting more and more treatments on the dying patients, because their (doctors) salary depends on them.

Thomas, for the most part, outlines both sides of why the U.S. health care system keeps so many elderly persons alive. On one side, patients psychologically want to maintain human contact and sometimes it is through doctors. On the other side, Medicare is on a fee-for-service insurance systems where doctors are paid for the number of treatments and test they perform on a patient. This system seems unnecessary; however Medicare wants to "encourage hope" in all their patients. Aren't doctors' main purpose to save lives than "kill" lives? How can U.S. health care improve its quality of service to its patients' emotional need versus their physical needs?

"The real problem is unnecessary and unwanted care." America pays for the unnecessary, which in itself sounds unnecessary and foolish. Who has the final say in keeping a patient's life alive? The family? Patient? Doctor? Health-care? Government?

Slate's Geezer Issue One Year Later: "Diary of a 100-Year-Old Man: Dreams of My Mother, and a Visit From My Grandson"

In the second of three diary entries, the 100-year-old frenchman Leon Despres opens the door to his co-op to graciously invite the reader in. As the reader steps into his "world," he cannot help but feel empathy and a sense of familial affection towards the aged man. Why is that? This grandpa reminisces over the memory of his beloved wife and dreams of his deceased mother as he watches his "congenial caregiver" fuss over his clothes, meals, and bodily functions. These actions allude to the somber reality that he will pass onto to join his beloved soon.

Depres inspires the reader to cherish relationships and look for the simple pleasures in life. Sometimes the inevitable boredom of retirement is the cure to stress and unhappiness.